Hello, Universe!

"A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly bitchin' kitten." -- Doug Larson

"Rembrandt's first name was like wow! Beauregard, mostly, which is why he never used it." -- Dave Barry

"How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "FIFTEEN! Gag me with a pitchfork!! Oh, wow! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"

Udall's Fourth Law: Any change or reform you make is ya know, like, goin' to have consequences you don't like.

It's no use cryin' over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for thuh cat.

wolf, man, n.: A nerd who knows all thuh ankles.

The climate of Bombay is like wow! such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Fortune's current rates: Answers .10 Long answers .25 Answers requirin' thought .50 Correct answers $1.00 Dumb looks are still free.

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talkin' about nor whether what is said is like, ya know, true. -- Russell

You can be replaced by this computer.