My Facebook news feed has recently been peppered with a string of ridiculous and delightful events that perfectly sum up my feelings as the semesters draws to a close. Join me as I bask in their absurd gloriousness:
Event: Become an actual potato
When: Thursday, December 24 at 5:00pm
What: Fulfill your dreams and become the most beautiful creature on earth. Who would want to look like a potato when you can actually be the potato.
Event: crawl under the coffee table and never leave
When: Thursday, December 3 at 5:00pm in PST
Where: under the coffee table
What: i don’t want 2 take my midterm. Invite yr friends we will find a large coffee table.
Event: Pretend you’re crying because you’re cutting onions but actually just crying
When: Friday, January 15, 2016 at 7:00pm in EST
Where: your kitchen
What: Bring together your friends and your pets so you can all cry together! If you don’t have any friends just invite people you don’t know on Facebook.
(If only all of these events were occurring simultaneously. Then I could ascend to my true form as a crying potato residing under a coffee table.)
Every time I think about crying or coffee tables or potatoes now, I can’t help but smile a little. I feel a sense of camaraderie with everyone who is either “interested” or “going” to these event because clearly their lives are just as nightmarish as mine, but they are still trying to smile though the pain.
I can guarantee that I am not the only one doubting whether or not I will make it through the next few weeks in one piece. The current state of affairs is that the semester is ending, finals are coming, work is piling up like snow during a winter storm, but my motivation is dwindling. Unfortunately, it seems that my motivation is inversely related with the number of days left until winter break.
Of all the things I am dealing with, the stress is the worst. Arguably, small doses of stress are “healthy” and can be good influences. They are that fire nipping at my feet, keeping me going and pushing me forward to succeed. However, given that my final grade in most of my classes can fall anywhere between an A and an F based on my performance in these last few weeks, I am practically living in a miasma of stress: decidedly unhealthy. It’s the kind of stress that gives you pounding headaches and school related nightmares (both of which I have experienced in the last few weeks).
I could, point about 10 fingers as to why I’m so overwhelmed with homework, classes, and obligations right now. Half of those fingers would point to things out of my control and the other half would point to my own dubious choices. So yes, I had a hand in deciding my fate this semester and I might not have done the best possible job, but: live and learn! Did I maybe manage my time poorly the past several months? Too much Netflix? Lesson for the future. Should I possibly have not attended that concert? Lesson for the future. Perhaps I should not have joined that other organization? Did I bite off more than I could chew? Lesson for the future.
Essentially, everything is a lesson for the future. Time management, stress management, motivation and focus: these are all muscles that require constant working out and proper conditioning. Without it, they never get stronger or bigger, and in the worst case, they atrophy. If the muscles I have right now can’t hack it, then I all I can do is my level best and prepare for the future.
That being said, finishing out this semester will be every bit as miserable as I imagine in to be. Having used up my reserves of positivity ages ago, there is nothing stopping me from meeting each new task with a scowl, frown, and complaint. Nothing makes up for the fact that I have a colossal amount of work to complete that I just have to power through.
So until the semester ends, realistically, I will be a burrito of sadness, tightly wrapped in a tortilla of stress, served with sleep-deprivation sauce (definitely not something you can – or should- get at Chipotle or Qdoba).
Happy Thursday :)