Greetings y'all! Hope you've all had a restful Winter Break. I, myself, made sure to mentally rejuvenate after taking 2 of the most programming-intensive courses at UT. Even though I learned many fundamental concepts in programming (paired programming, debugging, and time management), I still felt immense relief from being freed from the bondage of 60-hour work weeks and late night computer lab sessions all the way till "who knows when".
But coming back into school, the invisible pressure of having to be productive (which hovered over me all break) once again revealed itself. Though I know my classes this semester are considerably easier than the previous, I still have some lingering doubt in my ability to perform. This arises from just coming out of an overwhelmingly taxing semester, as well as my fatal flaw in comparing my abilities to the abilities of other programmers.
In fact, this flaw of comparison was birthed way before college. No matter what circumstance, whether I got “done”-zoed by a test, or gained an opportunity to perform for a class, I always found a twist to allow doubt to bind me from my own welfare after looking at others. This "comparing" feature in life seemed to reach its adolescence in college, and I battle with it constantly in order for it to not rule over my life.
Now I'm not saying this to invoke pity or to put forth thought over how I may fix this. Trust me, I have thought long and hard over this subject. The reason I'm saying this is because I'm hoping for this year to be a new change!
It is now 2017, and I am no longer bound to the many burdens that held me back last year! Good-bye Operating Systems and lack of sleep. This is the year that I want to truly flourish, and I want to challenge you all to do so as well. This is no New Year's Resolution, for New Years has long gone. This is a time to change yourself for the better. The reason why we set goals every new season is not because we do it for fun, or we're jumping onto the "bandwagon", or we delight in the passive failure that always happens. We do it because deep down, we really want to change.
So, this season, whether it's doing a hackathon, making new friends, or just stepping out of your comfort zone and going for that internship, I hope we can all go forth into this new season and fight for a transformation that will dash away our insecurities/worries and allow us to look forward into the new light of a better us.