The break's ended, and it almost feels like it was too short.
I for one didn't get anything done during that time. My logic was that if I took the time to rest and rejuvenate my mind, I'd be able to come back to school and be strong and ready to take on all the homework, projects, and exams that I knew I'd get.
But I was a bit wrong.
I came back to Austin on Sunday, and I found out that I had some statistics homework due the next day, and I hadn't even started on it. Not only so, but in my Korean class, we got assigned a skit to work on before break, and we had created a group document to work on, but didn't touch it all during the break. And don't get me started on all the finals and projects that will be happening over these last 3 weeks of school.
It's been a bit hard, coming back.
It almost feels like a bit of a mistake that I didn't work on homework or studied over Thanksgiving. I probably would be on top of stuff if I had done even just a bit of work throughout that time.
But I wouldn't change my decision for the break.
For once, I was able to truly relax and enjoy time with family and friends, something I wasn't able to do during school. I got to spend some uninterrupted time catching up with people that I hadn't seen in a while, and I was able to reflect over life decisions, whether in the past or things I had to face in the future. If I decided to continue to run hard after my school work during the break, I'm pretty sure I'd be even more burned out than ever. And because of that, I think I'm prepared for whatever I have to face long-term.
Sure, these next few days may have been a bit hard in order to settle back into the grind of work. Staying up on the day back from break is probably one of the most joyless things I've had to do in a while (fortunately I had a friend to accompany me). And it's almost as if all my classes came in and dumped a huge load of work on me the moment I came back from break.
But I'm excited.
I know right now, I feel tired. I'm almost disoriented by all the stuff that needs to be done before Christmas. Heck, I'm scared that I won't pass one of my classes.
But I'm going to push through.
These past 3 months, I've put in so much effort into school, I'm not going to let all that time and energy go to waste because of a few moments of feeling tired. There's a lot to look forward to. Whether it's my adventures in entrepreneurship, continued blogging for myself or UTCS, investments done in my church, or more pursuits after hackathons, there's so much to look forward to. It's a long race for sure.
Sometimes, I think school is like a marathon.
I know personally, I like to run fast and hard for the first few miles of anything I do. Usually near the end, though, is the hardest, cause that's when I'm almost burnt out. It's almost like a struggle, and I almost want to give up. But I can't, I won't. I'm going to do my best to finish this race, even if it's just a checkpoint for the end of the first semester as a Junior.
Even if it means that at the end of it I'll be battered, broken, and bruised from the fight. Because I want to fight the good fight. I want to run the race well. I want to look back on this semester and see that I didn't choke at the end or waste my time.
I want to run strong